| Easter Sunday 2009
I started out the day waking up at 5:30 in the morning for Mass at 7:30. Because my parents are insane. We arrived at church at 7 to secure "the good seats" and to beat the "morning rush". At 7 in the morning, neither of these things exist at church, just FYI. We pulled into the church parking lot as they were turning on the lights.
Twenty minutes into mass after the thirty minute wait, I'm told to sing from the blue hymnal. I open it up to see I'm not the only one wanting to read it ... there was a cockroach inside. Oh yes, a flat, brown bug just shorter than the length of my thumb skittering around the front binding. I somehow managed to calmly and firmly close the book to put it down and pick up a replacement. But it hadn't died, if for no other reason than to symbolically defy death on Easter morning. No, that nuisance climbed out of the book and zoomed across the back of the pew. I, again, calmly and even more firmly pressed another book onto it, ensuring its demise.
*sigh* Happy Easter.
The day went better when the fam and I drove to spend the day at my Grandparents' with my adorable, younger cousins. It was really nice to get see people I've known all my life, but only manage to see every couple of months now. Simultaneously, it was extremely difficult to see my Grandmother so weak from her heart medication that she couldn't help prepare food at all. I don't know if there is a more challenging task than to pretend everything is ok when your heart is breaking at the realization than the person that you might love most in the world is in pain and only has a little more time. Smiling while she's smiling when what is going unsaid is "I love you and I want you to enjoy yourself as much as you can."
But it's something that everyone else seems to have come to terms with, even her. I'll just have figure out how they do it.
But it truly wasn't a sad day until a let myself stop to take in the realizations. My cousins really, truly are a Godsend. Even if they're not quiet :)
I now find myself at home, the only one awake. Cat and laptop on lap, I'm catching up on writing and homework while watching Classic "Twilight Zone". Got a love it when Nazi's get their creepy, just desserts. It is truly an underrated show. |
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| I have never felt so unable to help. It's an awful position to be in. Why couldn't I be there? |
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| You know that dream where the cute boy throws a rock/snowball at your window late at night hoping to get your attention? Well, even if it was a last resort because your phone wasn't working and he was just really cold and wanted to get inside it was was ridiculously adorable. And he got my window, a third floor window, on his first try. Romantic gesture aside that's a good arm. :) |
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| There is so much I want say, but I can't. And for the first time I find my inability to explain ... nice. It's like a little secret that only grows in value every time I stop myself from sharing it. It has been a great 8 months. :) |
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| Oh College, If there were ever anything that I simultaneously loved and hated it would be you. Your food is decent, though questionable at times. Your classes ranging in difficulty, but to say I have learned nothing would be a lie. You tell me to be an individual, to be free and then destroy the confidence that fuels my aspirations to do so. You're so fickle. And your homework load is a bitch. This is an ode to you, Truman. Do with it what you will. ~Sarah P.S. Thank you. |
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